Dependency is a word with a multiplicity of meanings and unfailing stigma. Unfortunately, we live in a society that has remained in a state of ignorance regarding this topic despite attempts at raising awareness. As a concept, dependency has many faces and tends to raise even more questions. How do I break free from an unhealthy dependence and become my whole self again? If I have entered into a toxic relationship with my partner, tobacco, sex, heroin, or exercise – must I walk away for good? When did I start compromising myself in ways I swore I never would? How do I deal with the guilt and the shame? If you are asking yourself these questions or others like them, then I am here to help. We can work together to collect the pieces that seem to have scattered and assemble a healthier you.
“Be content to seem what you really are.” (Marcus Aurelius)
Is it that simple and yet profoundly challenging for so many? No one becomes who she is without work. It takes ample time and support for most of us to affirm who we are. Form an identity through exploration of sexuality, gender, culture, and spirituality. Do this in an environment free of oppression, judgment, confusion, bullying and fear. Stand proud with a sense of Self that is both strong and mercurial. And, do not do it alone. This is the task of identity development therapy. I will be with you each step of the way.
Clip from #Censored2Celebrated to learn more about sexuality and gender
“The takeaway is that only you know who you were born to be, and you need to be free to be that person.” (Ruby Rose)
A comprehensive gender assessment is an important service McAdams Therapy provides for adults and adolescents. This approximately three hour process can help many clients achieve their goals: Understanding themselves better within the context of gender diversity, starting hormone replacement therapy (HRT) or hormone blockers, or deciding whether their child is ready to take the next steps toward their gender truth.
I promise to meet you where you are in your process. There, I will give you a thorough assessment, ongoing support through self discovery, any referrals and recommendations you might need, and my commitment to work with your endocrinologist and/or reassignment surgeon. If you are not sure if a Gender Assessment is right for you, then you can call for a free thirty minute consultation and we can talk it over. Do not hesitate to reach out!
We have all found ourselves without the right words:
“She is weeping at her loss and I don’t know what to say.”
“Every time she tells me she is afraid I am cheating, I lose my temper. My patience flies out the window and all I can say is that I am sick of her jealousy.”
“I want him to be more intense, ya’ know, aggressive when we have sex. When I bring it up he gets weird. Truthfully, I am bored. What am I supposed to do?”
For those who are frustrated, tired, and fed-up, practicing new tools for emotional communication can feel like a lifesaver. Perhaps it’s time to find the right words to say even when the pressure is on. Learn fresh ways to approach a sensitive subject. Figure out how to turn the temperature down on a heated conversation. And, develop a new perspective on the people in your life that exhaust or baffle you.
Depression and Anxiety
Clinicians might describe depression and anxiety using terms such as: major, generalized, social, situational, persistent, bipolar, panic, mood…the list goes on and on. For many, a diagnosis and a cure might be the answer. If this sounds like you, then I am 100% invested in seeking those referrals and solutions with you. Likewise, I am aware that this may not be a reality for all people who feel overwhelmed, confused, lost, alone, empty, trapped, stupid, afraid, hopeless, ugly, worthless, pointless or embarrassed.
There is a clinical culture that strives for an asymptomatic society. That is a wonderful ideal but I will not discredit someone who says for example, “I stopped taking my meds because I still want to be able to feel something.” I used to think that joy was experienced in the absence of fear, pain and sadness. When I looked deeper I discovered a paradoxical joy that exists amidst the darker sides of each of us. The therapeutic process is wide enough to embrace the whole Self.
A friend of mine once pondered the challenges of subtle forms of abuse. She talked of how someone might readily accept that a black eye, forceful sex, or malnutrition could be abusive. However, what about telling someone that they are not allowed to be who they are because God will not love them? What about parents who act as the final authority on morality? Whose beliefs and ideals are not to be defied? Spiritual abuse may go unchallenged and unnoticed for years. Culturally, it is an acceptable way to raise a family. As a result, many people grow up unable to recognize the extent of damage done to their soul. Therapy can and will reintroduce spirituality in your life in a healing way. Spiritual freedom unlocks aspects of individuality including sexuality, creativity, free will and thought. Lay abusive spirituality to rest and awaken your soul’s own passions.